


Higanbana

by PHLHeart



Category: Keyakizaka46 (Band)
Genre: Angst, More angst, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:40:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25527580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PHLHeart/pseuds/PHLHeart
Summary: “I envy people that know love. They have someone who takes them as they are.”We all live constantly believing ourselves. "I'm okay" we say. "I'm alright”. But there will come a time where the truth finally reveals itself to you. That's when you realize that sometimes it isn't even an answer--it's a question. How much of this truth will you accept? And how much of it will you deny to your very last breath?In which Hirate meets troubled individuals who fall victim to society.Heavily based on Kuroi Hitsuji MV.
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

-

Hirate doesn’t remember much of her past. And honestly there are days she’s glad she doesn’t. She dreams of happy moments, candles flickering to nothing as she blows on it, clapping happily and silently adjusting her party hat afterwards. She dreams of tragedy. She claps twice. But now, she kneels before a blurry picture frame which her eyes refuse to meet. 

Her memories often leave her bitter, especially when she dares to reminisce. And they keep eating at her, swallowing her whole like a large tsunami-she can struggle and thrash all she wants but there’s no helping it. It’s an empty void- the past she’ll never be able to get rid of. She thinks of all the people she’s encountered, who all suffer from some sort of pain. Then she thinks of all the things she could have done better.

It was all her fault.

There are those that tell her it wasn’t, but there are even more who tell her otherwise. She lets out a deep sigh. The cold breeze almost lulls her to sleep, the dark skies serene as ever, and the stars seemed so close that she felt as if it was in reach. Soon. But she wills herself awake. Not now. Looking down, the streets were busy as ever. The crowds pulled and pushed, even though all of them were heading toward the same direction. Funny how that works, she stifles a laugh.

The wind blows again. Harder this time, and she barely had time to catch herself before she fell. So close. Her feet were inches away from the edge, the view from above almost dizzying. But she was in no rush. She’d take her time, until her time is taken away from her. 

-

She kneels. She doesn’t bother to check the time- it will continue to pass even without her knowing anyway. Hirate briefly glances at the red flower blooming before her, seemingly protecting the headstone but she pays it no mind. She wonders now how many more people she would have to lose, how many more she’ll never be able to save before she finally feels alive again. Her hands are cold, she realizes. It’s nearing autumn and an array of warm colors continue to flutter around her. It’s time to go. She stands up to leave, but reconsiders. She turns to pick up one of the spider lilies and finally walks away.

-

Some people say never to bring a higanbana home. It is cursed and will only leave destruction and fire in its wake. At times, she ponders whether that day was the catalyst of everything suddenly going wrong. Or- perhaps she herself was the higanbana reincarnated, planted to keep people away, to harm them. To protect them. In a world full of pretty roses who hide their thorns, Yurina wonders which has brought upon more pain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first Keyakizaka piece, and the first that I'll be publishing on this site. Each chapter will follow a different member dealing with different problems. But there will always be a constant. Prologue is short, but the following chapters will be relatively long.
> 
> Reviews and comments are welcome! Updates will likely be slow seeing as I'm a heavy procrastinator.


	2. Kobayashi Yui

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The friends exchanging looks see me as nothing but a burden"

2 - Kobayashi Yui

Yui hated noise. Though, truth be told there are indeed times she’d prefer listening to it than hearing her own voice shouting every second of the day. She just wanted to get through school as soon as possible, without issue. She decided a long time ago not to get too close to any of her schoolmates- she knew she’d only get hurt in the process.

So there she sat, taking up a lone seat in a table made for four... Silently eating soba, ignoring the hushed whispers of the neighboring students. Probably just about another girl they decided to prey upon. Her parents had scolded her, telling her how she’d never get to enjoy her school life without friends. She could only nod in defeat, their words meant nothing to her. Like everyone else in this damned place. She didn’t dare to stand out, everyone who did, ended up in a terrible cycle of bullying and depression. She was weak-minded. And Yui was very much aware of that.

The bland classes went by quickly as ever. She had taken notes, but she was too distracted by her thoughts to actually remember anything. The school bell had already rung a few minutes ago but she stayed behind for a while to let the heavy traffic go by quicker.

When the number of murmuring students finally thinned out, she picked up her bag to leave. Kobayashi had just barely gotten out, breathing a huge sigh of relief before she found herself bumping into someone. The person seemed to have been pushed as she fell violently onto the floor on top of her. She noted her short black hair- she could have easily been mistaken for a boy if not for her school uniform. The girl scrambled away but was then suddenly grabbed by her collar.

”Where the hell do you think you’re going?” The bullies' intense glare shook Yui to her core, even if it wasn’t directed at her. Her attention once again turned to the poor girl, Hirate if her memories served her right. She didn’t know why they suddenly decided to pick on her this badly, but it must have been something interesting considering-

Her train of judgemental thought was interrupted by one of the bullies- Ogino who had just spilled a small container of soy sauce on Hirate's uniform. “Oops, my bad. Looks like you’ll have to get a new one huh?” Yui gritted her teeth. This is exactly why she didn’t want to do anything drastic enough to get their attention. Everyone in this school are pawns to them, obeying their every bidding. Mess with one of them, it’s the end of the line.

They grab her again, by the hair this time, their face so uncomfortably close. “A little birdie told us…” She turned her head to whisper, and Yui couldn’t make out what she said, but Hirate looked so immensely terrified with each word coming out of their mouth. Like a memory she tried so hard to repress suddenly rising to the surface again. Her eyes were glassy now, a tear threatening to fall to the ground. Kobayashi involuntarily took a step forward, but stopped herself. She couldn't.

Yui knew better. She turned her back, as she always did. But something about her… It didn’t sit right with her for some reason, turning a blind eye. She usually didn’t care about nonsensical rumors, but sometimes she can’t help but overhear. Those words completely changed her perspective about Hirate, since then she’d avoided her, as did everyone else. She was different. But now, hearing the muted grunts of pain behind her, she couldn’t help but think she wasn’t the same person that they say she was. Kobayashi took a quick look at the helpless girl again, then she suddenly felt a deep sense of pity. They pelted her with kicks to the stomach, and she could do nothing but cry out. She looked so alone. Depressed. Humiliated. Hundreds of words that were not enough to express her emotions.

Maybe. Just maybe, she didn’t deserve it. She clenches her fist.

Without thinking she pulled Hirate to her feet and started to drag her along the narrow hallways, ignoring the shouts of anger from her tormentors. She twisted and turned past the curious onlookers who were in her way until they finally got out of the school gates. At that exact moment, the girl with her collapsed on the hard concrete, panting clutching her injured abdomen. Yui wraps her arm around her “Are you alright? Do you ne-“

Warmth. Yurina hugged her tight, tears she’d been holding freely falling, right on Yui’s uniform. “Thank you.” She didn’t know how to respond, so she simply returned the embrace. “But why?"

-

Honestly, to this day, she did not know the answer to that question. And to this day, she regretted that decision.

Since then, Hirate had not shown up once- as least to her knowledge. The bullies had now set their sights on Yui- the girl that protected one of the most disliked students. And every morning, the bullying got progressively worse. At first it was small things, malicious notes stuck on her desk, then it escalated. Rumors started spreading- and of what? She herself had no idea. They all had the audacity to talk about her behind her back, but never to her face.

Then it got to her. The graffiti on her locker, being bumped into during lunch break and having her bento box fall unfailingly everytime. The name-calling. Having her belongings lost or messed with. And each time, she’d accept it with her eyes on the ground, walking away properly humiliated. She had resigned herself to this fate. Constantly angry. Mostly at herself. Regret. But she’d never say anything out loud. She won’t lash out.

Weeks had gone by and she’d come into school each day, dreading what was to come. This day in particular, she goes to her locker to take out her gym uniform to find a large red graffiti on it. Larger than usual, and even more painful than usual. She tries to open it, only to find it locked. Sighing, she gives up after a few tries of opening it by force. Yui decides to just go to gym class in her school uniform, turning around only to find her knees falling from under her.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

Somehow this scene is familiar, isn’t it? She topples over, and they forcefully throw her school bag by her feet. Looking up, she sees them holding a pile of papers, her project- but she realizes too late. Slowly and provokingly they rip it all in half, hurling it over their shoulders afterward with a toothy, evil grin.

Said smile suddenly replaced with a frown. “Someone saw you outside the teachers lounge today.” Ogino strides forward, pinning Yui’s skirt to the ground with her shoe. “Don’t even try. We’ll get you expelled before you can even blink.” With that, her friend somehow opens the door to a nearby locker and Yui is pulled and pushed into it. Click. Locked.

“Have fun!” she chuckles, walking away with a smug smile plastered on each of their faces.

-  
It’s dark, and she doesn’t know how long she’s been stuck. Her shoulder flares with pain after multiple attempts at getting out. Yui decides to wait it out, and she does. Minutes pass before she finally hears footsteps, she slams on the door hoping to catch their attention. The sound draws closer.

Free, she sighs in relief, leaning her back on her former cage. Yui looks up to thank whoever-

Hirate. She tenses. That’s one face she wishes she didn’t have to come across for a long, long time.

The short-haired girl remains silent. Somehow she realizes the gravity of the situation as her worried face morphs into one of guilt. Yurina takes a step closer, leaning in for a hug. This time Yui doesn’t return it, instead pushing the taller girl away.

“This is your fault you know..” She turns her head, deciding it was too awkward to look at her. “After I helped you, and you stopped coming to school...” She doesn’t need to finish her sentence for Yurina to understand.

“I’m sorry.”

Sorry doesn’t cut it. All these years of silence. Toiling away. Living a passive and boring life. Gone. She could hide and shut her mouth all she wants but the rumors will never go away. Some days she just wants to rip her hair out in frustration.

“Just.. why?” Her voice starts to shake. “All I did was help… why did it have to come to this?” Her life was spinning out of control. Her grades were plummeting. And she couldn’t- she wouldn’t say a damn thing. She wants to. But her reputation is ruined. Reduced to nothing. All over one stupid decision that she’ll never be able to take back. She’s never felt this powerless in her entire life.

She just wants it to stop.

“Please.. Just leave me alone.” Tears start flowing now, and she drops down to her knees. Yurina stood with an unreadable expression, her fists clenched tightly by her sides. “I.. Please let me-”

But she shuts her out. She sees her lips moving from the corner of her blurry vision. But she doesn’t hear.

She goes on and on. Stop. Just. Stop. Her hands feel around for something- anything. She finds what she believed to be a school bag, gripping it tightly. Then she flung it in Yurina’s general direction. It misses its target and hits the opposite wall. Hard.  
Yurina looked hurt. Not the slightest bit offended. Hurt. She can only let out a defeated sigh. “Please… just… don’t keep it all in.”

Then she turns to leave, her bag left forgotten in the hallway, it’s contents spilled open for anyone to see. “I promise, I’ll leave you now.” Perhaps it was a trick of the light, but through her drying tears she saw red. She’s not sure whether it was just an illusion, but Kobayashi swears it was a bouquet of a familiar looking flower.

Then suddenly, she feels a deep well of regret.

-

True to her word, she never saw the short-haired girl again. Months have passed since that day, and the bullying was slowly reduced little by little, but it never really did go away. Once in a while she hears that name- Yurina. And once in a while she cries. Perhaps it was the unexplainable feeling of loss and attachment. Perhaps it was the guilt of pushing her away. Nowadays, Yui is no longer sure.

There are things she never did get to understand. Why Hirate disappeared so suddenly like she did. What she said to her as she broke down by the lockers. And now… She’ll never get to know. Pushing her away.. That was the second decision she wished she could take back. She reminisces as she stares at the Spider lily growing by her windowsill. 

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Keyakizaka piece, and the first that I'll be publishing on this site. Each chapter will follow a different member dealing with different problems. But there will always be a constant. Prologue is short, but the following chapters will be relatively long.
> 
> Reviews and comments are welcome! Updates will likely be slow seeing as I'm a heavy procrastinator.


End file.
